I did it my wage

I am now of the opinion that I shouldn't be paid for what I do, at least not in the way I currently am. I think it's unhelpful. I think the notion of stipend has been largely lost so I am a minister and an employee not someone released within my community but a salaried professional. This means that I don't belong to my community in the way that others around me do. I am temporary and other than. I am trained (in what, eludes me often) and to be looked up to and to be blamed all in ways that are distant for the community at large.

Ben posted a quote on my facebook page from Bonhoeffer which reads:

The church is the church only when it exists for others. To make a start, it should give away all its property to those in need. The clergy must live solely on the free will offerings of their congregations, or possibly engage in some secular calling. The church must share in the secular problems of ordinary human life, not dominating, but helping and serving.

It must tell people of every calling what it means to live in Christ, to exist for others. In particular, our own church will have to take the field against the vices of hubris, power-worship, envy and humbug, as the root of all evil. It will have to speak of moderation, purity, trust, loyalty, constancy, patience, discipline, humility, contentment, and modesty.... Read more

It must not underestimate the importance of human example (which has its origin in the humanity of Jesus and it so important in Paul's teaching), it is not abstract argument, but example that gives its words emphasis and power.

Some work it seems to me needs to be done on the relationship of minister to community. Why am I shipped in from outside? Why is my pay formalised, what is it really that the church needs in terms of released time? Does it need management and admin skills, does it need theological knowledge or someone to enable worship? Can this role be flexible rather than a fixed post cemented through an academic post. How can the community take more responsibility and ownership of it and through it?

I think I need to quit and then carry on working for the church. I wonder if they'll have me?